nursing... (insert BIG sigh)

So Julia, how's the nursing going??

Uhhh, it's kinda been a total roller coaster ride...

When I tried to nurse Marion at the hospital for the first time, I wasn't able to get her to latch at all... I called in the lactation nurse asap for help.

I was hopeful, but still a little doubtful after never being successful with Grace and succumbing to the pump. After all, not only did I wear these crazy breast shells while I was pregnant this time around, I was de-ter-mined!

The lactation nurse came in and worked with us for a while... she got it! Marion was latching on really well and staying on for a little bit.

Wow! I was thinking I was so set at this point. This time I must I gotten one of those babies I always hear about that latch on and never stop! I was elated!!

The lactation nurse was off Saturday through Monday, and it was as if Marion heard the door shut behind her as she headed out. My baby that I was lovingly calling "my little nurser" went on strike! Other nurses tried to get her to latch, but to no avail. My miracle worker lactation nurse called me on Saturday morning as I was preparing to leave the hospital. She said she would have another nurse bring me a "nipple shield" (it's basically a thin silicone circle with a HUGE fake nipple that's easier to latch onto than what I've got!) for me to take home just in case I wasn't able to get it going on my own.

I was definitely starting to get a little panicky at this point (but you know me, I love to worry ;) ) Does she look lethargic?? I surely thought so... but don't all newborns? Is her head sunken? Well I think so... but I suppose it's been like that all along. AHHH! Why is this so damn difficult!?

I stuck to it, no bottles, just kept trying. Marion just got crankier and crankier. Of course she was! She was hungry! I would say starving, although I know the doctor would disagree. On Sunday afternoon, day 4 of her little life, she had hardly eaten at all. My milk had come in in full force the day before and it made no difference. I couldn't take it anymore. It was time to break out the nipple shield. I was skeptical as to whether it would even work, but you what? It did! She latched right on, sucked like there was no tomorrow and turned into a happy baby with a full tummy.

Okay, at this point I was really excited, back on track! I had been so frustrated and now it seemed that all my problems were solved and we would be blissfully nursing for the next 12 months :)

She did nurse well with the shield, but it was kinda clumsy to get on sometimes, and also difficult at times to get her on. Over the next week and a half I tried at various times to transition her off of the shield and onto me. When she was 2 weeks old it finally worked!

YES!!!!! Not only was she now nursing, but totally on her own, no shield or anything!!! I even sent a few text messages to brag! This was really exciting stuff, and I had been working SO hard for it!

... and then came Monday evening. I started having chills and it basically progressed into me feeling like total death. A fever of 101.5, chills, sweats, shakes, MAJOR boob pain, especially when nursing, but really all the time. I even got a nice big rash accompanied by a hard lump that you could actually feel the heat radiating off of. I was actually dreading feeding poor Marion, it just hurt so bad. I felt fairly awful through the morning on Tuesday, but didn't call the doctor because I started to feel a little better by afternoon (can you tell I hate going to the doctor when I don't feel well?? such a hassel when you already feel like crap!). By night the chills were back and it started all over. Wednesday I went to the doctor and he confirmed what I already knew... mastitis. I've been on the antibiotics for over 24 hours now and I'm feeling much better.

As for the nursing... Marion is latching on well and staying on, but I lost a good bit of my supply while I was sick... hopefully it will improve. If the supply and demand theory proves true I should have an abundant supply soon... because she's given plenty of demand!

Yeah, it's been a challenge... still working on it!